Bank Holiday Round-Up

When it comes to naming Bolton’s most valuable asset, people are left mulling over the following three choices.

1. Lofty the Lion

2. The sniper that will eventually take out the drummer that makes every visit to The Reebok a pleasure, if by pleasure you enjoy getting a migraine every time you visit the ground.

3. Gary ‘Gaz’ Cahill


If you disregard number one, as there is more chance of Mr Vinegar of Ashburton Grove not whinging about opposition players roughing up his poor defenceless goalkeepers as Lofty leaving, and also number two, as the day that happens the devil comes for my soul and, for those of you that haven’t been keeping up, you are left with number three.

And over the weekend England’s current eighth choice central defender (behind Ferdinand, The Dad of the Year, Upson, Lescott, King, Dawson and Campbell (that’s Sol Campbell. No, seriously.) has been telling the press that if a top club came in for him then he might be tempted away from Lostock. Quoted in the former Bolton Evening News he says “If a big team wanted me to come and play for them, then you have got to be realistic and look at the fact it may be a right decision for both sides” The Sun this morning have mentioned both Manchester clubs and Arsenal with a price tag knocking on for £20million, which seems to suggest that someone has either lost their mind or the papers are currently picking figures out the air to see which one sticks. This has followed on from St. Owen suggesting last week that if one of the big clubs came in for Gaz then he wouldn`t stand in their way, as long as the price was right. With both manager and player opening up to the press, don`t be expecting Gaz to be at T`Reebok come August. If he does go to one of the big three, for his sake let`s hope it`s Arsenal. Now, hold on, I know that my predecessor enjoyed winding up our “friends” from North London and I cannot guarantee that I won`t as well but if he goes to Trafford there is no guarantee that he`ll be first choice, the same at Chelsea. If Citeh become a “big four team” there is no guarantee they won`t buy someone more expensive within three months. Therefore Arsenal, with a departing Gallas and Silvestre and Campbell drawing his pension next summer, would be the obvious choice and it would give us a leg up in retaining the services of Little Jack for another six months.

According to the Guardian, after beating Jack at darts, St Owen put in a call to Mr Vinegar last week about keeping him, although they don`t make clear whether it was for his footballing talents or to enter him in the UK Open. Mr Vinegar was in a board meeting so he will try this week. Couldn`t he have just left a message to call back? Don`t these people have emails? Or wasn`t the translator available for the conversation that would go “Gury Caill for fivteen mill and yer mon Jack fer six mons ye ken” “Oui”. There are probably a lot of Arsenal fans who wouldn`t want to see Little Jack back at Bolton, and after watching their game at the JDWB yesterday they have a case for wanting him to go straight in the team. He has probably proved his worth to Mr Vinegar since being moved into the centre and I dare say that the game on Saturday will probably be his last in a white shirt.

And it may well be the last for Kidneys as well, as stuck right down the bottom of the Mail`s report on Saturday`s game is the news that he is unlikely to be signed up when his loan deal comes to an end. It`s pretty obvious that St Owen doesn`t fancy him and no one seems to have a good word for his performance at The Lane. Maybe it`s all a question of aesthetics, we already have one target man who will probably be at Bolton next season in SuperKev, what do we need with another? Plus it should come as no surprise that he scored most of his goals under the former manager. It seems the times really will be a changing at Bolton.