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Bernard ‘Row Z` Mendy Joins Hull

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Bernard Mendy has completed his move to Bolton Wanderers Old Boys XI, aka Hull City. The Frenchman spent a year on loan at the Reebok in 2002-3. Mendy was quick. Blindingly quick. Astonishingly, indescribably, improbably quick. He was so quick that sometimes he wasn`t visible to the naked eye. He was so quick that he had to wear a parachute, as without it, he couldn`t stop within the confines of the pitch. He was so quick that sometimes his forays down the wing were followed by a sonic boom. Did we mention that he was quick?

It`s just a pity that he was rubbish with the ball.

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