Cahill for Wilshere? No.

It will come as a surprise to no one that an idea was mooted that if Jack Wilshere was to return to T’Reebok next season then Arsenal may use him as a bargaining tool in driving down the price of Gary ‘Gaz’ Cahill. You know, because their shifty like that.

Speaking to today’s former BEN, who, I have got to say, have improved dramatically since they stopped being the mouthpiece of the former regime (although they still publish Tony Kelly’s (one) Eye column), St Owen has dismissed these as mere rumours and that he has no intention of using Wilshere as a makeweight in any deal.

And damn right to. If we are to show that we are not a selling club, unless, of course, it is for the right price or if the player involved is Danny Shittu, then we cannot be held over a barrel by another team. I do not think that this would be the case with Arsenal anyway as St Owen and Mr Vinegar appear to have a good relationship.

There is only one club that Wilshere is going to on loan if he is not needed to The Emirates next year and that is Bolton. The suggestion that there is even a chance of him going to Newcastle is laughable. Imagine, a choice between playing under a progressive young manager who you already know and trust and who can raise your game, or entering a pie eating contest with Fat Kev Nolan. A stark choice, I think you’ll find. One that can give you nightmares.

And speaking of Gary Cahill, the Currant appears to be your one stop shop for all Gaz related news at the moment. Today, Honest Harry Redknapp has told them, via Spurs’ official magazine that he has no intention of making a bid for our defender that nearly died. Harry says that ‘I like the player, always have‘. Obviously he didn’t like him enough to sign him for Portsmouth during the time he was sending them down the swanny even though such a forward thinking manager like Gary Megson could see his potential. Or maybe he was too cheap.

Fat Mike watch now. And while no one is currently thinking of wasting money on the big fella, he did appear on TV last night. Yes, BBC Three had a programme called England’s Worst Ever Football Team. And lining up next to John ‘Aroogah’ Fashanu in the front line was our very own Michael Ricketts. Congrats Mike, you fat biffer. In case you missed it it’s on BBC Three again tomorrow at 10:30pm.

And finally, before I trundle back to the internet free wastelands of the north for another visit, it won’t have escaped your attention, as you would have had a card through your door telling you, that there is a sale on at the Club Superstore. And this weekend as it’s a Bank Holiday, you can pick up a mug for £1. Insert joke HERE.