Date: 30th July 2008 at 11:04am
Written by:

Dear Aston Villa,

We note with disquiet, the injury to Wilfred Bouma at the weekend. Grisly stuff indeed. You will now be short of a first-choice left back. We know how this feels. At one time things were so bad we had to play Henrik Pedersen there. Some of us are still in therapy because of that.

For this reason, we would like to offer you Jlloyd Samuel back. It`s not because he`s gormless and a bit rubbish and keeps wandering off when there`s defending to do. Oh no. It`s simply that we`re nice people who want to help.

So nice, that we`re even prepared to deliver him ourselves, free of charge. Look out for the blue transit van that pulls up outside Villa Park on Friday morning, and the sound of screeching brakes and doors opening and closing, followed by a dull thud. As the van accelerates away rapidly, you will find Jlloyd on the pavement. Don`t attach too much importance to him being bound and gagged. It`s just so that he doesn`t injure himself during the journey. Like we said, nice people.

Enjoy your new acquisition.

Regards,

Bolton Wanderers

 

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