Just a bit of fun to lighten the mood and to keep me sane
Dougie Freedman sits in his office, spinning in his leather-back chair. The pen he is chewing becomes dangerously close to spilling its ink. He leans over pressing the intercom button, ‘Lennie, can you come in here, please?`
Lennie Lawrence knocks twice on Dougie`s door and enters.
‘Sit down, Len.` Dougie wipes the wet pen on his jacket sleeve and puts it in his desk drawer. ‘Have you heard anything?`
Lennie shakes his head.
Dougie screws-up his face, confused, ‘you`re kidding me?`
Lennie avoids Dougie`s glare and begins nervously tapping his fingers on the desk.
‘You`ve told them I don`t want to be here anymore, right?`
Lennie, still looking down at the desk, nods slowly, ‘yep, sent the email weeks ago.`
Dougie jolts from his chair and faces the large window overlooking the Macron pitch. The sprinklers are cascading water on the freshly mown grass as one of the maintenance staff gives the Wanderers` boss a wave.
Dougie closes the blind.
‘I`ve done everything you`ve told me told do,` Dougie snarls at Lennie. ‘You said it would work, but look around, I`m still here. What gives?`
‘I honestly thought one of the things you`ve done would tip the balance. I`ve never known anything like it.` Lennie finally musters the courage to make eye contact. ‘I can`t think of anything else.`
‘I`ve told my players to throw leads in games; that hasn`t worked.` Dougie sits back down. ‘I purposely play negative, passive football; that hasn`t worked. I`ve alienated the fans by insulting their intelligence; nothing.` Dougie again begins to spin in his chair. ‘What was your latest master move?` Dougie snarls.
Lennie whispers something inaudible.
‘What? Speak up, Len!`
‘Your pre and post-match interviews,` Lennie nervously shouts.
‘Yes,` Dougie sarcastically screeches. ‘Your ‘pre and post-match interview` crap! That`s worked wonders, hasn`t it? Even I`m sick and fed up, spouting the same garbage week-in, week-out.` Dougie leans over, ‘please tell me you have something else for me, Len?`
Lennie, sensing an opportunity, congregates the courage to speak his mind. ‘Why don`t you just walk into Phil`s office and tell him the situation?`
Dougie glares at Lennie. Lennie drops his head again, but decides against tapping his fingers.
‘You honestly think I`ll get the compensation package, do you?` Dougie tries to capture Lennie`s gaze. ‘If I just stroll into their offices and lay my cards out, they`ll reward me with millions? Get real.`
Lennie tries not to react.
Dougie, looking at Lennie, begins to shake his head. ‘Remind me again why I keep you around?` he asks. ‘And they say I`m clueless.`