It Shouldn’t Happen to a Vaz

There has been conflicting information regarding Ricardo Vaz Te over the past couple of days, a player once described by the Guardian as a ‘vertically challenged waif.` Barnsley manager, Simon Davey has revealed an interest in the Portuguese striker, but claims a deal can`t go ahead because he is unavailable for selection.

‘I’ve spoken to Gary Megson about Vaz Te, but I’ve spoken to a lot of managers about a lot of players,’ he explained, ‘Vaz Te is injured at the moment. He has a knee problem and has also been ill.`

Meanwhile, Vaz Te is keen to go out on loan, if he can`t secure a first team berth.

‘I`m trying to get more games but if I`m not getting them here then the least the manager can do is let me go somewhere I can play,` he told the Bolton News. Yes, we see.

The scene is Gary Megson`s office, after training.

Ricardo Vaz Te : Hi boss, you wanted to see me?
The Ginger One : Yes Vaz. We`ve found you that loan deal you wanted.
RVT : That`s great, where am I going?
G1 : Guess.
RVT : I can`t. Give me a clue.
G1 : Ok. It starts with a ‘B`.
RVT : Birmingham? Brilliant! They`re top of the league.
G1 : No, Barnsley.
RVT : Boss?
G1 : Yes?
RVT : My knee hurts. And I don`t feel well.

Vaz Te leaves the office with a newly acquired limp, to the sound of maniacal laughter behind him.