Date: 1st June 2010 at 10:39am
Written by:

Guest writer adlington2 sends one in from the sidelines.

There was a programme on BBC3 the other night called ‘England’s Worst Ever Team’. It was a cracker. You saw the skills of Carlton Palmer, the quick thinking of Phil Neville Ivanhoe Neville (yes, that’s his name, or close enough). The joy of Stevie Hodge setting up Maradona for his hand of god goal, the goal scoring of Emile Heskey and the penalty taking of Pearce, Waddle and Southgate. Never mind, they did score with the pizza ad on telly.

Then came the ‘zoo’ players. Crazed Joey Barton, Donkey Adams and Colly Doggie. Razor Ruddock slashed away, John ‘George’ Terry got a special mention for some reason. Peter ‘The Cat’ Bonetti took the blame for us losing in Mexico in 1970. And let’s not forget the managers. Graham Taylor is still making money out of telling England managers what to do.

There’s nothing so strange as the media, advising us about everything from how to vote to who to hate, while employing people like this to ‘enlighten’ us. He was assisted of course by Phil Neal and Laurie McMenemy. It made you think that any minute you’d see Meggers in amongst them.

There was some light relief as Sven and his assorted leg overs were spotted. And spare a thought for the only Wanderer to get an honourable mention. Poor old Michael Ricketts, he should have paid more attention to Big Sam. And does anybody think Sam could have done worse than some of the England managers mentioned? Yes Steve McClaren, we do mean you.

Ending on a brighter note. The Mirror is doing a series about former England greats including, of course, Nat. His figures; 33 games, 30 goals. Eat your heart out Crouch, Shearer, DeFoe, Linacre and Heskey. Especially Heskey . . .

Talking of whom, did you hear that Martin O’Neill wants to replace him with a proven goal scorer and has spotted a hot Swedish prospect at Bolton? No, neither did I.

Finally, to while away the dull summer months, how about nominations for the Wanderers Worst Ever side?

(editors note: Good idea Adlington, if anyone wants to leave comments below and I’ll do something about that after the World Cup)

 

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