Date: 23rd May 2010 at 1:45pm
Written by:

Sorry, didn’t mean to swear.

Here are a list of things I don’t like at the moment:

1. The ending to Ashes to Ashes. If someone can tell me how it ties into how Life on Mars panned out, let me know.

2. The weather at the moment. Actually, I like the weather at the moment but it sends Mrs X doolally and not in a good way.

3. The fact that Radcliffe and Maconie has been reduced to three nights a week.

4. Piers Morgan.

Now, in any given week the first three are interchangeable and removable, but Stanley Victor Collymore usually appears in there somewhere. Number four has been more of an everpresent than Eddie Hopkinson. I have absolutely no idea what this man brings to society, and I know that I am not alone in this. But I can say, hand on heart, that I believe Jeremy Kyle is a better human being.

I don’t have a problem with celebrity fans writing columns in the newspapers, as long as they appear to be informed and I point you towards Dara Ó Briain’s column in the Guardian. Arse centric to be sure but erudite and well thought out. Morgan’s also Arse centric column in the Mail on Sunday is none of these things.

So, when I read the column this week I believed that he had got the whole Fabregas situation wrong. But this is a Bolton site and if I keep on writing about The Arse, Vital Arse are going to offer me a job.

No, it’s the bottom of the article that caught my eye, wherein Morgan has to go through his mostly incorrect predictions for the season that he made last August. And there it is, in his riposte to his incorrectness:

Not great, I admit. But you forgot ‘Bolton will bore the bojangles out of everyone”. I was right about that.’

Now, stop me when you think I’m wrong. Out of the bottom half, Bolton scored more goals than anybody bar Sunderland and indeed also scored more goals than Blackburn in tenth and Birmingham in ninth. We scored three or more goals on five separate occasions, more than another team from outside the top seven bar Sunderland, and indeed more than a team that got into Europe, Aston Villa. We put the wind up Chelsea at Stamford Bridge so much that some observers said we should have won (disregarding the two stone wall penalties) and outplayed Spurs in the first half of our FA Cup game so much that Honest Harry admitted that he wouldn`t have complained if we had been out of sight. And let`s not forget the first half at Morgan`s precious Emirates Stadium when Bolton went 2-0 up and Arsenal only equalised after William Gallas had put his full weight on Mark Davies` ankle and the referee somehow missed it when we saw it from the other end of the stadium.

The southern press have a poor record of reporting Bolton`s games and only seem to notice that we have a team when we come to the capital, but at least they even manage to notice players like Lee, Cahill and Jussi. Arsenal even lent us their star in the making, Jack Wilshere, which would suggest that Mr Vinegar saw something that Morgan didn`t.

Bolton Wanderers are an easy target for sloppy journalists. I neither care for Piers Morgan nor would I want him to taint this website by visiting it. Not that he will when he can pick up easy money by knowing nothing about football but being allowed to write about it. People complain about the amount of money floating at the top of football. Piers Morgan makes money from being a floater as well.


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