Anthony Hart writes a timelog of what it would have been like to travel back from Portman Road
9.38pm
Full time at Portman Road. We weren’t very good at all tonight. No goals, no threat, no hope. And now we’ve got to travel all the way back to Bolton
9.45pm
Quick stop at the pub for a consolatory beer. It’s quite nice, that boozer near the train station.
10.20pm
Last orders, and we begin our journey. Our first of many roads is the A14.
11.37pm
I should say I’m not doing the driving. The driver is teetotal. Remember that, kids.
Wednesday 12.32am
What is wrong with East Anglia? It’s like when they invented the motorways they ran out of money and thought ‘Sod it, these lot and the North Welsh can go without.’ Madness.
Wednesday 1.42am
I fell asleep, We’re still on a dual carriageway. I think I saw a cow.
Wednesday 6.42am
I think we’ve seen a motorway. No dual carriageway. Balls.
Wednesday 12.37pm
We’re at a service station. We’ve stopped for 15 minutes. The pasties are cold. This is horrible. We make our way back once again.
Wednesday 4.45pm
We smell, and I have a beard which I didn’t have when Brett Pitman slotted in Ipswich’s second. I hope we get back in time for the Bristol City match? Or do I actually?
Wednesday 9.14pm
Are we still in the same time zone? I think we’re on the M1 now, which is progress.
Thursday 1.12am
NOOOOOOOO! We’ve broken down.
Thursday 3.22am
The bloke from the RAC has finally arrived. I’m just hoping we get towed. I really do. We’ll only break down again.
Thursday 3.32am
Nah, he’s not towing us. He’s done something. We’re going again.
Thursday 5.56am
On the M62. Nearly there, nearly…what’s the smoke? Better call the RAC then…
Thursday 6.59am
We’re still not getting towed. Damn.
Thursday 8am.
We’ve survived. We’re home. Work in an hour though. Why???