Date: 8th November 2015 at 10:12am
Written by:

Anthony Hart writes a timelog of what it would have been like to travel back from Portman Road

Full time at Portman Road. We weren’t very good at all tonight. No goals, no threat, no hope. And now we’ve got to travel all the way back to Bolton


Quick stop at the pub for a consolatory beer. It’s quite nice, that boozer near the train station.


Last orders, and we begin our journey. Our first of many roads is the A14.


I should say I’m not doing the driving. The driver is teetotal. Remember that, kids.

Wednesday 12.32am

What is wrong with East Anglia? It’s like when they invented the motorways they ran out of money and thought ‘Sod it, these lot and the North Welsh can go without.’ Madness.

Wednesday 1.42am

I fell asleep, We’re still on a dual carriageway. I think I saw a cow.

Wednesday 6.42am

I think we’ve seen a motorway. No dual carriageway. Balls.

Wednesday 12.37pm

We’re at a service station. We’ve stopped for 15 minutes. The pasties are cold. This is horrible. We make our way back once again.

Wednesday 4.45pm

We smell, and I have a beard which I didn’t have when Brett Pitman slotted in Ipswich’s second. I hope we get back in time for the Bristol City match? Or do I actually?

Wednesday 9.14pm

Are we still in the same time zone? I think we’re on the M1 now, which is progress.

Thursday 1.12am

NOOOOOOOO! We’ve broken down.

Thursday 3.22am

The bloke from the RAC has finally arrived. I’m just hoping we get towed. I really do. We’ll only break down again.

Thursday 3.32am

Nah, he’s not towing us. He’s done something. We’re going again.

Thursday 5.56am

On the M62. Nearly there, nearly…what’s the smoke? Better call the RAC then…

Thursday 6.59am

We’re still not getting towed. Damn.

Thursday 8am.
We’ve survived. We’re home. Work in an hour though. Why???


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