The Sicknote has Landed. Or has he?

There seems to be some confusion about Bolton`s Heidar Helguson, the unhealthiest centre forward in football. The Icelander was due to make his debut for the QPR, in the game againt Watford, but failed to put in an appearance. According to some, he was injured in training, after a team mate had looked at him in a funny way, but one account this morning has him signing a loan deal with Charlton due to a last-minute disagreement over the terms of his contract at Loftus Road. The latter theory comes from Daily Mirror fantasist Alan Nixon and should be taken with a few scoops of salt.

Drop us a line Heidar, if you`re well enough. We`d like to know where you are, so that a consignment of medical supplies can be shipped in your direction.