Date: 18th March 2014 at 7:36pm
Written by:

My name is Dougie Freedman, but I’m known as ‘Tinkerman’,
I’m the gaffer down at t’Reebok, where I have a cunning plan.

It’s what I learned on courses, whilst passing my coaching badge,
Plus things I gleaned from playing and any new ideas I might cadge.

The vital ingredient in my plan, is to keep the punters guessing,
Not to mention, all the players, who find this so depressing.

I like to think I’m up to speed and play a novel style,
But the lads are really ‘anti’, so it’s taken quite a while.

The fans all favour ‘four-four-two’, but I like one up front,
So, they can take a running jump! I’m afraid I must be blunt!

Occasionally, I indulge them. Whet their appetite, so to speak,
But when we’re under pressure, that policy’s up the creek!

Get them all behind the ball and leave one to lead the line,
That’s the way to boss a game. If not, then I’ll resign!

The coaches taught me lots of words, I call it ‘football-speak’,
It’s a basic language, all its own, used by a tiny clique!

Some may call it ‘gobbledegook’, others are just agog,
But those of a cynical nature, suggest I’ve been on the ‘grog’!

I always work the opposite way to the fans at our great club,
But I believe it’s ‘lateral thinking’, rather than see it as a snub.

So, I couch my comments, whenever I can, in a plethora of jargon,
If I hadn’t been in ‘footy`, I’d have made a super salesman!

You’ll notice that I rarely pick the same team every week,
Even if they win a match and each player hits his peak.

Other teams like Burnley, may turn out the same eleven,
But has it done them any good? Are they in seventh heaven?

No, these young men need constant rest or face a quick burn-out,
A game a week is far too much. Of that there is no doubt!

Trust me, I know about all this. I’ve been there, got the T-shirt,
And any lad starting in the game, would soon become a convert!

Remember, I’m here for the long term. The future’s in the kids,
So that’s when you must judge me, if the blue-print hits the skids!

Until then I’ll just continue, to tinker with the works,
And keep everybody guessing. It’s one of life’s little perks!

Written by Barney Grumble.

Mr Ecky sends his best to the Vital Bolton community, he’s currently not well, he’ll be back as soon as possible and in the meantime, he’s got a staff writer to fill in for him.

If anyone has something to share in the meantime (this gives a genuine Bolton point of view from a Bolton fan!) feel free to fire an email through.

Please include your username so I can put that to it though.

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