Date: 7th February 2011 at 6:04pm
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According to the official website, it doesn’t exist.

Evening all.

For those of you who Twitter (@QuentinX for those few of you who aren’t yet following to the wit and wisdom coming out of Urmston/Bromley-by-Bow) you will know that I decided that my match report would consist of organising a posse and going round Clattenburg’s house for a tete-a-tete. For those of you who commented of a sexual nature, I deleted them. Hey, this is a family show.

It says a lot about the football this weekend that Clattenburg’s wasn’t the worst performance (Phil Dowd, anyone?), but when it comes to Bolton, and I know that Spurs feel that he is against them as well, we really do get nothing from him.

1. The first penalty. Ball to hand or hand to ball? SuperKevinDavies’ arm didn’t move towards the ball, but in the end it stopped a goal bound shot. If, however, it had been at the other end….?

2. The Gary Cahill foul. A foul all day long, I think you’ll agree. In fact, I think Spurs fans will agree. Not so much to Mr Clattenburg. Where’s Sian Massey when you need her? (By the way, this particular part of the game is missing from the ‘match highlights’ on the official site.)

3. The Mark Davies booking. Not cynical, more a coming together. Maybe he saw the name on the back of the shirt.

Little doubt that Spurs had their own problems with him and, in the end, it became a game we probably didn’t deserve to win becoming a game that we didn’t deserve to lose. Spurs will think they should have been further ahead before we equalised, thanks to Clattenburg’s fussiness over the second penalty, even though players had encroached for the first one. We’ve had him three times this season. No more please, Mr Riley.

On the plus side, Elmander on the right wing, who knew? And Danny Sturridge, continually tearing the Spurs defence a new one. With Lee returned, there is now genuine hope of moving back up the table, although it may well end up as a tussle with Sunderland for seventh and a hope that two Champions League teams meet in the FA Cup Final, and that Arsenal beat Birmingham in the Carling Cup, for us to get into Europe. Everton on Saturday is another one of those must win games.

Now then, the England squad. Strange days indeed for Bolton’s probable England players. Gary Cahill, currently having an elongated mare, gets put straight in, when in the past he has been thoroughly competent and has to wait for injuries. And then there is Kevin Davies.

Neither SuperKev nor Elmander are having the best of times, of that much there is certain. But, once again, players pull out and the replacement is the leading striker for the bottom club in the league. Carlton Cole has somehow managed to score himself seven caps without scoring any goals for the England side and this year has scored three Premier League goals, the last of which was last year. He has continually failed at international level and, although he will no doubt by snapped up by some desperate club once West Ham are relegated, he will never be a success at international level.

Kevin Davies has scored more goals this season and more goals this year.

I’m not saying that on current form the captain should be in the squad. I’m just saying that he should be in line ahead of Carlton Cole. He himself has said that he is just concentrating on Bolton but wants to be in future squads.

With Sturridge two for two and looking like a better loan deal than Jackie Wilshere, SuperKev may be able to get his scoring boots back on. And, who knows, he may be joined in the England squad by Sturridge himself.

Right, enjoy the rest of your Monday, if possible. We’ll return tomorrow. Super.


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