Date: 9th May 2007 at 2:01pm
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Sam Allardyce`s appointment at Newcastle United may not be the nailed-on certainty it appears, at least according to Athole Still, agent to Sven-Gonad Eriksson.

‘There has been no contact whatsoever but if Newcastle were interested, I am sure Sven would be interested in talking to Newcastle,’ said the Swede`s minder. On that basis I should be a candidate. They haven`t contacted me either, but I`d be interested – the job pays a fortune.

It won`t happen though (Sven getting the gig I mean, not me). Why`s that I hear you ask. Is it because he isn`t good enough? No. Forget about the England debacle. Eriksson won the league and cup double with teams in three different countries, guided IFK Gothenburg to a UEFA cup win and Benfica to a Champions League Final.

Is it lack of transfer funds? Not if the Magpies previous record is anything to go by. They`ve paid untold millions for players to lie on their treatment table.

The reason is more personal. Sven has a liking for letting the old trouser snake do it`s own thing, and as Freddy Shepherd has acknowledged, your average Geordie lass is a bit of swamp donkey.

Take the bespectacled one for a night round South Shields. He`ll be off back to Sweden like a shot.


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