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Bolton Wanderers: Happy Trails Hans

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Yippie-ki-yay, melon farmer.

If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the ******* problem and put the other guy back on!

So said John McClane in seminal eighties action film and top of my best ever film list Die Hard just after taking out a few bad guys with a chair, some C4, a lift shaft and a computer terminal before being told off for covering some cops with glass by the Deputy Commissioner.

As I went down the list of things to write about today, a list that is getting smaller by the day, I sat opened mouthed for a couple of minutes when I saw this headline:

Pratley upbeat over survival

On Saturday, someone sent me a tweet saying that there would naturally be an outburst from a Bolton player slamming his team mates commitment in the same vein as Zat ‘Pissed Off’ Knight. I replied, all very tongue in cheek, that it would probably come from Pratley. Never in my worst nightmare did I believe that we would hear from the boy blunder.

Yet, here he is, telling us to get ready for eleven cup finals. According to the BEN article, he was kept in the side as a reward for running twelve kilometres against Chelsea. It didn’t matter that eleven of those twelve were all the wrong way. It doesn’t matter that for all this running we lost. Apparently he ran the same amount against Citeh, yet all those who saw the game can remember of him is that he hit his own bar from outside the area. For all his running then, he remained anonymous. As he has been for most of the season on the pitch. That’s not hard work. It’s an inability to play at this level, being left for dead by far superior players. Spin it all you want. That is what the fans see.

It must be obvious to the club that there are a number of players who the fans believe are the weak link and yet here is another one that they have rolled out to speak to the press. We want to hear from Mark Davies or David N’Gog or Sam Ricketts or Adam Bogdan or Ryo Miyaichi or Fabrice Muamba. Zat Knight and Darren Pratley set teeth on edge and yet here is one of them again, rolling out words that fans are not interested in. If one of the aforementioned six players come out with words like ‘I thought we were in the game for a long time‘ you are more likely to believe them. Sending Pratley out is more of a white flag, giving up the ghost affair.

To be fair, Adam Bogdan has spoken to the official website and has said that it was a good effort on Saturday and that at 2-0 we had a couple of opportunities to get back in the game. But what transpired was that we didn’t, in a game where Citeh didn’t feel the need to send on their two most dangerous players. I still fail to see how we can take any positives from the game.

So, another plea to the Bolton Wanderers press office, or whoever it is that sends out players to speak to the press. If you can’t find anyone who is actually willing to speak the guff that you want them to other than Knight and Pratley, best to just let silence be golden. Most of us don’t appreciate it.

Elswhere, and continuing on the same theme, the manager has said that season starts here. This will be the third time this season that the season has started here, but at least we now know that we can draw a line in the sand and look forward to thirty three points from the next eleven games and a late charge on a Europa League place.

No?

I have always said that as long as we were still in touch after this difficult period, we would sort out our own fate and that will prove to be the case.

I’ve scratched my head and tried to remember when he said that before, but for the life of me it’s not coming back. It is all very well being in touch with those above you, but one negative result on Saturday, especially with the Dingles playing Wolves on the same day, and it could quite feasibly be five points. Even a win is no guarantee that we will escape the bottom three, although it may well set Wigan, who travel to Norwich, adrift.

It is true that we still have it in our own hands and that we have the easier run in. We all know the the team that we want to see play, we all know the players that can do it. We all know that Zat Knight and Darren Pratley should play no part in that.

Here endeth the continually repeated lesson.

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Vital Bolton player of the month now and, thanks to a man of the match performance against Wigan, his goal at Millwall and a good showing at Chelsea it is Darren Pratley sorry, Ryo Miyaichi, echoing just about every other poll for February. One of only a couple of bright spots in a month on dirge.

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Fantasy League news now and forget the top three. The major news is that I have moved into the top fifty for the first time this season. So, many, many congratulations go to myself. Winner.

As for the top three, Rusty Trombones have moved back up and are now just sixty points away from retaining their crown. Team of the week was split between a number of teams; Kentucky Fried Samba, Woodward Wanderers and Bolton Munchen. So, if you could all go and wrestle in some mud and then let me know who wins. Ta.

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Oh, one more thing. The referee for Saturday’s game has been announced as Martin Atkinson who also took charge of the game at Loftus Road (win) and the game at Ewood Park (win). It will be the fifth QPR game he has officiated. They have drawn one and lost three. Lucky omen?

Until tomorrow, I’m just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.

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