Johan Elmander…The Final Insult

You know, I go away for a bit, get laid low by a dodgy pint in the Slug & Lettuce in Didsbury (somewhere between the 10th and the 13th pint I think) and I return to the news that Danny Shittu isn`t going to Turkey as he doesn`t want to move his family too far. Or take a paycut. Like the new Winston Bogarde.

Anyway, we`re back, and not a moment too soon as a 6`4″ striker who isn`t good enough for Big Sam comes onto the Wanderers radar. Yes, Franco di Santo, a player who hit the back of the net less times last season than a Louisiana fisherman can manage at the moment has become the latest target for St Owen according to the former BEN. In fact, he makes The Misfiring Swede look positively prolific.

To bring in someone less than adequate smacks of being caught by the fact that he is on Chelsea`s books. Di Santo has scored one goal in his time in England. To put that in context, Schmeichel scored as many in English football. No, not Chesney Battersby`s dog.

There seems to be some idea that he would be an understudy for SuperKev. I`m not so sure he would be happy about this. Once Big Sam decided he wasn`t good enough for the Dingles forward line, a damning indictment in itself, he was placed on the bench. When he got back to Chelski, suddenly his stay at Blackburn wasn`t all it was cracked up to be. Toys out of pram, lip out to full extent.

Little Drac Weiss pulled the same trick last year and it didn`t do any good and if di Santo thinks his goalscoring record is going to get him into the starting line up at anything other than a non Premier League club he is whistling in the dark. I`m not saying Big Sam was the epitome of great signings, but I suggest he had it right on this one and we should stay well away.


However, what exactly does this say to Johan Elamnder? First David Nugent and now di Santo. Neither of these two have set the world alight in the Premier League and yet we have been linked with them. Between them they scored one more goal than the Swede last season. With the possibility that Kidneys is coming back on loan, this would push him down to fourth choice. Ask not for whom the bell tolls Johan. It tolls for thee.

Yes, I’ve heard that Citeh are planning to bid for Samantha and, you know, I’m going to ignore it. Citeh already have a central midfield of Barry, Vieira, Kompany and De Jong. And if they think the figure that is being bandied around of £8-£10 million with the money they’ve got is enough then they must think that the air near Winter Hill addles our brains. So, I didn’t ignore it after all, but I’m ignoring it from now on.

And for now, that is it. Goodbye to The Waiter, you won’t be missed. Listening to Radio Merseyside just now, someone blamed Sammy Lee. But let’s take the positives out of that eh?