Anthony is back, reporting on some ‘brilliant’ humour
The UK has raised its banter levels to an orange warning after Emile Heskey’s goal on Tuesday night prompted a hive of activity on the internet.
Heskey, whose goal to games ratio has never been able to be passed off as prolific, netted the first Wanderers goal at the Valley as the Trotters came from two down to claim a battling point.
Fans of all clubs united on Twitter to express their incredulity and to offer backhanded compliments, while the likes of Bet 365 wheeled out pictures of Roy Hodgson with unpalatable facial expressions and restated their ‘Heskey for England’ campaigns. Other sites tried to argue how Heskey was better than Lionel Messi, while some person who has got famous through playing video games was also deemed important enough to be given a say.
‘We saw the Heskey goal and immediately made the decision to raise the level to orange, ‘ said a man from the Banter Intelligence Service (BIS), weraing some skinny jeans and consuming some chicken from Nando’s, who would only be identified as a ‘Banterologist.’
‘At these times, there is a higher risk of use of the same old tired jokes on social media, and anything remotely funny being completely plagiarised by theLADBible or prominent bookmakers websites. The same happens when Nicklas Bendtner or Aknifenwa score. It’s all a bit weird.’
When asked how his chicken was, the spokesperson replied, ‘Proper cheeky.’ No further questions were asked.