Date: 24th February 2011 at 2:09pm
Written by:

Don’t believe everything you read. Unless, of course, John McGinlay says it.

Afternoon all. First of all, an apology. Yesterday, I said that another Bolton blog has a name that rhymes with ‘Tranny Code’. This was of course, erroneous. It is actually ‘Fanny Code’. Apologies for any distress this may have caused to any former editors of this parish.

Why-aye, it’s the Geordies on Saturday. You can tell a Geordie one of two ways. If they are a female, they walk around with nothing on OUTSIDE THE HOME! If they are a male, they smoke beer, drink tabs and go to Boyzone concerts with their managers. Or something.

Into this maelstrom we sent agent Nobby a couple of seasons ago, in a determined effort to get Newcastle relegated, along with other agents Smith, Butt and Owen. The operation was succesful but, unfortunately, agent Nobby appeared to have gone native and we didn’t hear anything from him until late November last year, when he returned, masquerading as a double agent. However, on giving away a penalty early on and playing about as bad as he did at the end of his Bolton career, it appeared that he had not been turned and was, indeed, a triple agent.

Good man, Nolan. Keeping up the good work and keeping his tracks hidden, he has today spoken to the press in the North-East. Luckily, Google Chrome has a translation service, and it comes out thus:

‘I`ve got very fond memories of Bolton, but not the last time I went back. The support I received from the fans, and the reception I got from them, was brilliant. Those fans coming to our stadium on Saturday will see why I was so keen to join Newcastle. It`s a fantastic city, place and stadium.’

Hopefully Colonel Coyle will be able to remind agent Nobby on Saturday that the main reason why he was so keen to join Newcastle was that standing in the middle of the park and shouting a lot does not mean you are playing well and that Red Meg was looking to palm him off and Newcastle were the only ones interested. That, the £50K per week and the undying friendship of Andy Carroll. He should also tell him to keep his head low and we’ll smoke him a kipper as long as he’s back for breakfast.

Speaking of Red Meg, and not necessarily going back on what I said yesterday, one of our exports to the colonies, Flight Lieutenant John ‘Super’ McGinlay, has laid into him today in his column in the Bolton News. Basically repeating everything that everyone has been saying about Red Meg opening his mouth about his past glories, here is the best bit:

‘You left us in no better shape than you found us, with an astronomical wage bill that is still being dealt with as I write. You seem to take great delight in telling us that you have travelled the world over the past 12 months while Bolton Wanderers pay your wages. But I`d suggest that if you keep carrying on in this way, you had better keep your gardening gloves handy because you`ll need them again quite soon.’

On a personal note, I hope that Wednesday stay up. As a former inhabitant of the Steel City, I know that it needs a derby, and with United on their way down, it would be a shame if Wednesday take away that opportunity by getting relegated themselves. Plus, Neil Mellor used to go to my school. Granted, about ten years after I left.

An impressive win by the Juniors last night, as they came out 3-2 winners over a Citeh ‘Elite Development'(?) side that included Michael Johnson. I say juniors. Jlloyd continued his push towards full fitness and a ticket outta here with a 90 minute run out. St Owen thinks that he needs two more reserve games before he is ready for first team action, although there are many who think he needs a free transfer rather than a first team berth.

At the same time, the manager also confirmed that Gretar Steinsson may be available for a place in the squad. It would be a shame to change the defence at this time, especially as we should be about as scared of the Newcastle front line as I am of being jumped on by the cast of Sucker Punch anytime soon. Robbo has fitted in well on the right and Alonso has performed well on the left and Gretar will make an excellent back up. Until, at least, another one of our defenders injures himself.

Anyway, after all that talk of double, triple and Russian agents, it reminds me that I haven’t seen ‘Where Eagles Dare’ this year yet. So, with a Broadsword calling Danny Boy, I’ll leave you, until an evening communique tomorrow.


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