Are You Watching Fatty`s Funeral?

As Bolton prepare for the battle in Belgrade, ex-manager Sam Allardyce is desperately trying to hold onto his job at Newcastle. He`s quite prepared to lie in order to suck up to the pot-bellied brigade at St James` Park.

‘I don’t think we ever got so many supporters going from Bolton to Blackburn, which is just 12 miles down the road,’ he said of the six thousand or so Toon fans who travelled to Ewood Park to watch Newcastle`s latest pummelling. This casually ignores the seven thousand Bolton fans who packed the Darwen End last season, a game which the Wanderers won, despite being down to ten men and having two penalties awarded against them. Maybe his mind`s going. It would explain his miserable managerial performance since the turn of the year with two different clubs.

Meanwhile talk of a player revolt has been denied by the club. ‘Sam Allardyce has the full backing and support of every Newcastle United player and we are all working together as one to bring success to the club,’ says an official statement. Yeah, we believe you, thousands wouldn`t. Actually, we don`t believe you either.

The Beginning of the End for Allardyce (AKA Newcastle v Arsenal) is screened tonight on Sky Sports 1. Tune in if you fancy a laugh.