Date: 30th September 2009 at 10:43pm
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There has been much hilarity amongst Bolton fans over the idea that Gary Cahill would want to join perennial underachievers Tottenham Hotspur, but guest writer adlington2 isn`t amused at a suggested alternative.

There was a story in yesterday`s Sun that Manchester United want to sign Gary Cahill. It’s another brave, bold effort from the paper that having read 96,000 opinion polls saying the Tories will win the next election – has now decided to back them.

But this is serious – for Cahill. He is only 23, does he really want to blight his career just when it’s taking off – by mixing with Ferguson?

OK, he’ll know that at Old Trafford the ref will usually be on his side, that he’ll add time on if his team is losing. He’ll be ‘helped’ by clog happy merchants like Scholes and Vidic who will usually get away with it.

For encouragement he can rely on mad swearing from Rooney, head shaking from Berbatov, pathetic whingeing from Evra about how your old mate Kevin Davies keeps kicking him. Think carefully about that – he’ll be kicking you, he’s not keen on United.

Most of all, think about Ferguson, scowling and chewing like a deranged psycho in the dugout. Get on the wrong side of him and it’s all over, no matter how good you are. Just ask Carlos Tevez. Remember too, the golden rule of football. ABU. Anyone but United.

Finally, please don’t go – anywhere!

 

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