Date: 13th September 2013 at 6:21pm
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After two games of the league season without a win, the monkey on the back of Bolton Wanderers was the size of Ross`, Marcel from Friends. After four games winless, the monkey had grown to the size of Clyde from Any Way Which But Loose. After a winless fifth game of the campaign, the monkey`s size was that of Mighty Joe Young. If we lose against tomorrow`s opponents, Leeds United at the Reebok, the monkey`s mass will be that of King Kong, which is terrifying. Terrifying, because I can`t think of a bigger primate. I know, I know, Mighty Joe and King Kong are not monkeys, they`re apes. But desperate times call for desperate analogies and these are those times. Plus, I did only say, ‘the size of?`

Leeds` fans and players alike are describing tomorrow`s game with the Wanderers as a potential ‘banana-skin`. This is how bad it`s got for us, people. We`re now the ‘banana-skin` of the Championship for those teams who deem themselves ‘promotion candidates`.

Let`s get on with it, shall we?

Vital Quotes:

‘Over the last 10 days we’ve worked extremely hard and we’ve built up to a position that we are very tuned into what we are doing. The atmosphere now is one of ‘let’s change this round’.

‘We’re a very determined group. We’ve been working very hard over the ten days, not necessarily physically, because I think we’ve put a lot of physical in over the last ten days, and in a lot of detail in making sure everybody starts playing as a team and not as individuals. We need to make sure that we work to attack as a team and defend as a team, and when we’re attacking we need to make sure we’re defensively locked in and switched on to counter attacks, which has been happening to us.

We’ve worked very hard over the last ten days, resulting, hopefully, in a good performance and a win on Saturday.’

Bolton Wanderers Team News:

Apart from the long-term absentees, apparently we’ve got a full squad to choose from. Chungy, Beckford, Medo and Bogdan will all do late fitness tests. Beckford will also have a staring contest with the manager and if he flinches…

There could be a start for Moritz tomorrow, but don’t hold your breath.

However the team is shaping-up fitness-wise, if Dougie is true to his word, there should be a drastic change of personnel tomorrow after the Ewood Park shambles. But again, don’t hold your breath.

Player to watch: Jermaine Beckford

I’m going to keep picking him until he does something… Anything.

Leeds United Team News:

Leeds manager Brian McDermott has a full-strength squad to choose from for their visit to the Reebok Stadium.

Apparently, Ross McCormack and midfielders Rudy Austin and Paul Green have returned from international duty unscathed.

Player to watch: Dominic Poleon

Have you seen anything of this kid? I have. If he plays, either from the start or more likely as a sustitute, Wanderers may need someone on hand to untie Zat Knight’s legs at the final whistle.

Match Facts & Stats

The clubs have faced each other 50 times in the league; Bolton have won 20, Leeds 19.

Leeds have only claimed one point from their last two league visits to the Reebok, but prior to that they won five in a row here, culminating in a 3-0 Premier League triumph in December 2002

Match Prediction:

We’ve got to win this one. There’s no two ways about it. Not only am I going for a win, I’m going for a battering: 2-1 to Bolton… That is a battering as far as we’re concerned.

Next Fixtures:

You may as well stay in your seats at the final whistle. We play Derby on the following Tuesday.


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