Date: 26th May 2010 at 4:20pm
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He has scored ten goals in sixty three games. He cost somewhere between £8.2million and the national debt of the Cape Verde islands, depending on who you read. (It was £8.2million. The former manager said so after his first game) His name is Johan Elmander and he ain’t going anywhere. In fact he is ‘Sitting Tight’

In a former BEN article that will surely put more fear into a Bolton’s fans hearts than any article since Paul Robinson ‘reassured’ us that he was only on loan due to tax reasons, the Misfiring Swede has said that no one will force him out of the club and that the manager hasn’t told him that he was leaving.

Now, unfortunately, our source at the club who has been taping some conversations between St Owen and players he wants rid off didn’t get hold of this meeting but here is the way we read between the lines:

Everyone can`t tell me what to do, that`s up to me to decide.

Errr…no it isn’t.

He (Coyle) didn`t say that I was leaving, it was a positive meeting and he said that he was really pleased with what I have done and that he wants to continue to co-operate with me.

He didn’t say you were staying and by co-operation he probably meant that he would pay for the taxi fare away from the club.

I have one year left with Bolton and really feel that this is the thing. It`s now that things start.

I have no idea what the end of the first sentence means but I can pretty much say that having one year left usually means that this is where things end.

He is honest, and I appreciate that. He is the best manager I`ve had.

Bearing mind who the last manager was this loses any kind of impact it may have been intended to have.

The majority of Bolton fans have no problems with Elmander’s workrate, but my dog runs around the local field for 90 minutes with no end product and I don’t see anyone ringing me up and offering £8.2million. I can’t see anyone offering what we paid for him as people will see the goals to game ratio. But if someone comes in waving a cheque for £4million it is likely we will say thank you very much. Add that to the £20-£30million we will get for Cahill, according to today’s Currant (carrying on from yesterday’s ‘exclusive’) and we’ll be laughing. In fact, we’ll be laughing with the £4million.

Anyway, we won’t be needing a new striker if Samantha finds his shooting boots in the place his mother stored them when he was a child. The former BEN (and thank God for them otherwise there would be nothing to write about) have been told by the midfielder that he needs to improve his shooting. They have also been told this by the guy in the top row of the North Stand who keeps on being hit by Samantha’s usual efforts. In his career, Muamba has played 164 games and has scored three goals, which would suggest that Mrs Muamba better find them boots quick if he is to improve.

And today’s comedy headline goes to the top of the article about the contract offer to Stuart Holden as Bolton attempt to hold on to him. The headline editor is, unfortunately, here all week as well.


5 Replies to “Elmander Organising Sit In”

  • I think OC will be doing all he can to sell Elmander because as a striker he has failed to perform. No way will BWFC get anywhere near the £8 mill paid, in fact, I think £2 mill if lucky.

  • hmmm…don’t quite agree that he failed to perform. His build up play was excellent, he has basically done everything but score regularly. His appearances for Sweden does show he’s a quality finsher however. Personally, I think the argument with Elmander should be whether or not he starts instead of Davies (blaspheming I know) along side Klasnic rather than how soon we can ship him out.

  • The strangest thing I’ve read about football in the last 100 years is that Davies should be dropped in favour of Elmander. Is this the terrible revenge of Megson, secret agent?

  • haha…no, no secret agent here (although I would say that wouldn’t I?). Elmander is an extremely intelligent player and his movement and linkup play reflect this. Criticisers of Elmander only seem to be stating that he doesn’t score enough goals for £8m. There is a complete lack of criticism apart from this. When (not if) he starts scoring the chances he creates then alot of people may just realise his worth.

  • I agree that Elmander does run about a lot in 90+ minutes which could be seen as positive. The fact remains that he was employed as a goal scorer and he has failed in this specific area of his game. I am not sure what to say about Davies as I value his overall contribution but then I do not expect him to score 15 – 20 goals a season. What I do know is that we need to score more goals and keep more clean sheets. In Owen I trust to deal with these 2 matters, well until Christmas anyway.

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